Unbelievable Shenanigans

Lyrics for Unbelievable Shenanigans

In ‘86 I had a hamster named Elizabeth Got her at the mall with that whole Habi-trail tube system shit Cried a month when she escaped captivity all by herself That winter mother found her behind the drier alive and well Strangely, I recall that over how and when she died I’m messaging my brother now, he said she left a second time But like for realsies Well shit if that don’t beg a different take The triumph ain’t the coming home it’s in the second prison break It’s interesting what the memory cherry picks and what it pardons We’re nothing if not silver linings stuffed into compartments Like some printer’s tray repurposed for shelving your tiny tinctures That each remind you of a specific time you were injured Interacting with the living, those shifting lines of scrimmage Always situated just behind some hypnotizing visage If you're at all susceptible to a finger that beckons From out a curious portal make sure your briefed at the entrance Identify a thousand different snakes Turn around, still trust a motherfucker out gate The recommended avenue is as he say not as he do But as he do if you annoy yourself with you're own ballyhoo As he do, then people be like “wow, you’re such a hypocrite” And I’m like “yo, you can’t be this completely fucking stupid I hope you suffer horribly Like, I’m not even a violent person which makes me a double hypocrite” Yo yo yo, fashion from the 80s, mahi mahi fresh from the banana leaf Deliver the man to Lahaina’s banyan tree Rent me a 2-seater that boast an uncommon wheel count That outta town embarrassment barreling through some speed round Before cars, how did man express the sentiment Of needing to recklessly drive a car through a weather event? Out the other side, heaven-sent, what a ride Feathered hair that never relent, summer summertime Smell the roses, right outside the den of lobos Who could smell the Polo fanny pack coated in melted Rolos The trope is play it cool and act like you supposed to be there But I’m not a cool actor, I do not play, I do declare Next summer y’alls panels on my fear of abandonment Get the force of 1001 unbelievable shenanigans Friendly hangs effortlessly peppered with contentious slang And extras, til you playing 20 questions with interrobangs What the fuck, how the hell, who are you Is hope even a factor in the forward you are looking to I ain’t throwing shade I’m only asking for this final scene I don’t need that energy around me when I’m finding peace 6’4, 240, gussied up and camera shy I’m just trying to eat but all they see is spotted lantern-fly Tantrum with biggest fucking baby in candy aisle I could not have picked a better day to r-r-randomize